CourtMartialed
by General-Tang
Summary: There are some things money can buy...for everything else theres Hina.


I'm not entirely sure where I got this idea...watching too much JAG and Martial Law reruns I suppose -.-;;

Takes place before the start of OP. I improvised in some areas to be certain... *cough*

* * *

All walls painted the color of the purest snow in the dead of winter have one blatant thing in common.

They shine positively brilliant in the event sunlight happens to seep through building structures like the little rays of obtrusive snakes they are... This should have been a well known fact for the people in charge of the décor in this place.

The fact that the walls in the congested courtroom were white, the militaries own obsession with the color, or the architect's down right criminal opinion that there should be a large window in here…she really didn't know who to blame for this headache brought on by the sadistic fire of a thousand suns glare.

There's an idea, perhaps she should just hold the very sun itself responsible...

"Keeping you out of trouble is a full time job."

_*puff…puff* _

"You're past the point of reprimands from your commanding officer...and one more strike and you're completely outta Hina's hands. You go up the food chain where judge advocates don't exist, its _only_ World Government jurisdiction from there."

_*puff* "_The only jurisdiction I answer to is justice."

The women seated to her clients left shot him an aggravated look, "Do the words Impel Down mean anything to you?" She flipped her case file closed. "Plus if you answered to your employer's justice and not your own brand of it, Hina wouldn't be in this mess every other month."

She scowled.

"And there's no smoking in here!" With a quick flash of her hand, she swiped the offending cigar and flicked it to the ground. Her own urge to light-up fell with it.

_Ha ha! Take that white floor_.

Hina thought as she viciously ground the ashen stub into the vanilla linoleum with the toe of her boot.

Sensing more smoke filtering through the pristine, civilized air the pink haired women's scowl deepened, "Now Smokers' just trying to piss Hina off…"

The man sitting to Hina's right who could suspiciously resemble a lumber-jack had he been donning a flannel, shifted his position of legs crossed lazily up on the table, chair slightly reclined to promote a more reasonable amount of comfort.

"Fine."

He recalled the puffy cloud that had playfully snaked around the military lawyer.

"This isn't a joke." She said under her breath as the doors beside the bench opened.

"All rise in the presence of the honorable-"

"Honorable, _psh_."

"Smoker!" Hina hastily shoved his legs off her paperwork in effort to draw attention to herself and begin her argument as quickly as possible.

"Sir," she said in a level tone once everyone was seated back down and the man judging the court-martial was done shooting a reproachful look at Smoker who was in the process of climbing back into the chair he'd occupied before Hina had toppled him over in her sudden if not wild moment of fury.

"The man I'm representing…again… today," She began, "Lieutenant Smoker, pleads innocent of all charges."

"_Innocent?" _

This _was_ unusual. Smoker generally pleaded to whatever was more likely to have happened and less likely to result in community service.

Never mind him getting kicked outta the military…that community service could go to straight to hell.

"Innocent on what account? The Lieutenant has been accused of the destruction of government property…several witnesses account for the sheer amount of collateral damage..."

Hina cleared her throat silently.

"Sir, the filing cabinet attacked _him_."

. . .

* * *

Ok so maybe Hina isn't that great of a lawyer... perhaps that spurred the decision for a career change for the actual series XD  
I just took the vague explaintion of Hina helping Smoker out in the past and flew with it...plus the way she dresses kinda reminds me of a lawyer.  
And the filing cabinet thing...guess thats just sort of a jab at the idea we get that Smoker doesn't like paperwork or anything in relation.


End file.
